300: Goddard and Gottman

I suppose I should clarify who exactly Goddard and Gottman are, huh?

H. Wallace Goddard is the author of one of my textbooks for my Marriage 300 class; his book is called "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage: Eternal Principles that Change Relationships."

Dr. John M. Gottman is the other author I mention very frequently from his book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."

There has been SO much this week from both of these books, I truly do NOT know where to start! If I could, I would just make copies of all of the questions and quizzes and activities to give to you all, because they are super interesting and way fun to do! Adonai is a good sport, because he lets me test all of the activities and questions on him. :D I feel like he enjoys it as much as I do, but who knows? He could just be trying to be patient and endure it all haha.

So I just want to kind of summarize a little bit of what I've loved and learned from this last week, and hopefully it can be something beneficial to others as well! The first part from Goddard is more gospel-focused, while Gottman is not religious (I'll try and include Gottman's insights tomorrow in another post, because this one is plenty long!)

GODDARD:

This week we read chapter three of his book, which focused on faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and how it helps our marriages. There are three principles I want to focus on...

First: Replacing evil with goodness. "It is not enough to cast out evil. We need more. We have vibrant, light-filled life when Jesus lifts us up. And Jesus lifts us up when we focus our souls on Him....It takes faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to remove evil from our marriages and bring them to vibrant life (page 57)."

Obviously we are all going to have our negative days every now and then, and we may find ourselves thinking negatively about our spouses. This is normal occasionally. However if this becomes a habit, your ideas and perceptions about your spouse will soon change, too. So we need to get rid of that negative thought first, but that's not enough. Again, "it is not enough to cast our evil. We need more." We need to replace that negative thought with a good one. After having said something negative, have you ever been told to say three positive things? That's exactly what I'm talking about! But be genuine about it, or else you're just running your mouth and digging a bigger hole.

Second: Put God first. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this in my blog, but I know I've written about it several times in my personal journal. "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives." President Ezra Taft Benson said that many years ago. I can't even begin to explain the impact this quote has had on my life. There was a certain point about a year or so ago when I was just downright confused and unsure of where to go or what next step I should take in my life. I was so worried about it, and I could find no comfort or solace. One Sunday, I heard that quote during a Gospel Doctrine class, and I liked it; it was simple and true. Then I heard it again in Relief Society! I thought to myself, "Huh...That's interesting. Same quote. I really like it." Then when my doubts and confusion came to a peak, I sat myself down with my scriptures and books and decided to study. Out of my scriptures fell that same quote on a little piece of paper that I had cut out years ago while I was living with Trista in California.

I can't express how much of a difference this has made for me, especially in the last year. Whether you're having troubles with finances, jobs, family, or just feeling "out of touch," putting God first is where you will find peace, comfort, and answers. As long as we are putting God first, He will have our willing hearts to lead and guide in the direction he wants to take us.

As a fun "coincidence" (that's a lie, I don't believe in coincidences, especially not when it comes to putting God first and running into Adonai. :P ), here's a little story for you...When I had that crazy Sunday of hearing this quote three times, like I said, I was really confused about what I should be doing or what to do next. Well, I decided to put God first and refocus my scripture studies and prayers, annnnd less than two months later, I "run into" Adonai at church. :) Although this is NOT what I was expecting as a "next step," I definitely wouldn't ever choose any other path. :)

Third: Eternal Perspective. I know I have mentioned this before when I wrote about temple marriages, but when our faith in Jesus Christ is strong, we are better able to overlook the little things and have an eternal perspective. I know hard times and trials are in store for me. For all of us, in fact. We all are going to come upon challenges; that is the purpose of this life. "And we will prove them (try them) herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." (Abraham 3:25). But as we keep our faith in Christ, He will enable us to remember that there is a purpose for every trial, and we will always grow from our trials. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We are not passing through these trials by chance; it is all part of a plan much bigger than we will ever be able to comprehend.