I suppose I should clarify who exactly Goddard and Gottman are, huh?
H. Wallace Goddard is the author of one of my textbooks for my Marriage 300 class; his book is called "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage: Eternal Principles that Change Relationships."
Dr. John M. Gottman is the other author I mention very frequently from his book "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work."
There has been SO much this week from both of these books, I truly do NOT know where to start! If I could, I would just make copies of all of the questions and quizzes and activities to give to you all, because they are super interesting and way fun to do! Adonai is a good sport, because he lets me test all of the activities and questions on him. :D I feel like he enjoys it as much as I do, but who knows? He could just be trying to be patient and endure it all haha.
So I just want to kind of summarize a little bit of what I've loved and learned from this last week, and hopefully it can be something beneficial to others as well! The first part from Goddard is more gospel-focused, while Gottman is not religious (I'll try and include Gottman's insights tomorrow in another post, because this one is plenty long!)
GODDARD:
This week we read chapter three of his book, which focused on faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and how it helps our marriages. There are three principles I want to focus on...
First: Replacing evil with goodness. "It is not enough to cast out evil. We need more. We have vibrant, light-filled life when Jesus lifts us up. And Jesus lifts us up when we focus our souls on Him....It takes faith in the Lord Jesus Christ to remove evil from our marriages and bring them to vibrant life (page 57)."
Obviously we are all going to have our negative days every now and then, and we may find ourselves thinking negatively about our spouses. This is normal occasionally. However if this becomes a habit, your ideas and perceptions about your spouse will soon change, too. So we need to get rid of that negative thought first, but that's not enough. Again, "it is not enough to cast our evil. We need more." We need to replace that negative thought with a good one. After having said something negative, have you ever been told to say three positive things? That's exactly what I'm talking about! But be genuine about it, or else you're just running your mouth and digging a bigger hole.
Second: Put God first. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this in my blog, but I know I've written about it several times in my personal journal. "When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives." President Ezra Taft Benson said that many years ago. I can't even begin to explain the impact this quote has had on my life. There was a certain point about a year or so ago when I was just downright confused and unsure of where to go or what next step I should take in my life. I was so worried about it, and I could find no comfort or solace. One Sunday, I heard that quote during a Gospel Doctrine class, and I liked it; it was simple and true. Then I heard it again in Relief Society! I thought to myself, "Huh...That's interesting. Same quote. I really like it." Then when my doubts and confusion came to a peak, I sat myself down with my scriptures and books and decided to study. Out of my scriptures fell that same quote on a little piece of paper that I had cut out years ago while I was living with Trista in California.
I can't express how much of a difference this has made for me, especially in the last year. Whether you're having troubles with finances, jobs, family, or just feeling "out of touch," putting God first is where you will find peace, comfort, and answers. As long as we are putting God first, He will have our willing hearts to lead and guide in the direction he wants to take us.
As a fun "coincidence" (that's a lie, I don't believe in coincidences, especially not when it comes to putting God first and running into Adonai. :P ), here's a little story for you...When I had that crazy Sunday of hearing this quote three times, like I said, I was really confused about what I should be doing or what to do next. Well, I decided to put God first and refocus my scripture studies and prayers, annnnd less than two months later, I "run into" Adonai at church. :) Although this is NOT what I was expecting as a "next step," I definitely wouldn't ever choose any other path. :)
Third: Eternal Perspective. I know I have mentioned this before when I wrote about temple marriages, but when our faith in Jesus Christ is strong, we are better able to overlook the little things and have an eternal perspective. I know hard times and trials are in store for me. For all of us, in fact. We all are going to come upon challenges; that is the purpose of this life. "And we will prove them (try them) herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them." (Abraham 3:25). But as we keep our faith in Christ, He will enable us to remember that there is a purpose for every trial, and we will always grow from our trials. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. We are not passing through these trials by chance; it is all part of a plan much bigger than we will ever be able to comprehend.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Saturday, October 24, 2015
300: Nurturing Your Fondness and Admiration
So for this week, I just want to share my experience with one of Gottman's acitivities from Chapter 4: "Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration"! The point of this chapter was to stop focusing on the little negative aspects of your partner and focusing yourself on the good qualities they have. The same qualities that you found in them that made you want to marry them in the first place.
I have to admit that the activity I chose to do with Adonai brought about surprising results haha. This was the first activity to nurture fondness and admiration; it was called "I Appreciate . . ." In Gottman's book, he gives a list of 72 positive adjectives. Both Adonai and I were to choose three that we felt described the other person. Then we were to come up with an incident when they portrayed that adjective.
In case you don't know our story, Adonai and I were able to really get to know each other by basically quizzing one another! We just went back and forth with questions--some were silly ones, others were deep and personal. This allowed us to open up to each other in ways I never imagined. We often still do this, but now we don't seem to have quite as much free time as we used to haha. Regardless, I wasn't sure how "excited" Adonai was going to be about doing this with me, even though he is always so willing to help me with my homework. Well, I'll just say that he knocked my socks off! He's pretty wonderful, I can't deny that whatsoever. :)
We both went through the list, and it was hard to just choose three. But we both managed to narrow it down. Adonai suggested we go one-by-one, trading off to share. Of course, I was nominated to start haha. I won't go into detail about our conversation, but I do want to list the adjectives we chose, becauuuse I really loved it. :) For Adonai, I chose the adjectives: Strong (physically, mentally, spiritually, etc.), Reliable, and Affectionate. The words that Adonai chose for me actually really surprised me, but he was so sincere in everything he said. For me, Adonai chose the adjectives: Brave, , and Vulnerable (sharing personal and deep thoughts/experiences with him). I was absolutely floored, but even more than that, I felt so grateful and appreciative for Adonai and the mutual respect and love we have for one another. Living so far apart for an extended time is difficult and challenging, but it has allowed us to grow in ways that we never could have before.
Considering the fact that I tend to have a negative outlook on most things, I can testify to the fact that negativity is cancerous. It can bring us down in an instant. But more than that, I testify of the power of positivism, the power of positive thinking. Each night I try and write Adonai a short message, letting him know of one thing I love or appreciate about him. Even if I'm feeling negative, as I focus on being sincere, my whole attitude changes. May we see the positives in our partners and have Christlike love and charity towards them. "Thee lift me and I lift thee, and together we will ascend." (Ancient proverb)
I have to admit that the activity I chose to do with Adonai brought about surprising results haha. This was the first activity to nurture fondness and admiration; it was called "I Appreciate . . ." In Gottman's book, he gives a list of 72 positive adjectives. Both Adonai and I were to choose three that we felt described the other person. Then we were to come up with an incident when they portrayed that adjective.
In case you don't know our story, Adonai and I were able to really get to know each other by basically quizzing one another! We just went back and forth with questions--some were silly ones, others were deep and personal. This allowed us to open up to each other in ways I never imagined. We often still do this, but now we don't seem to have quite as much free time as we used to haha. Regardless, I wasn't sure how "excited" Adonai was going to be about doing this with me, even though he is always so willing to help me with my homework. Well, I'll just say that he knocked my socks off! He's pretty wonderful, I can't deny that whatsoever. :)
We both went through the list, and it was hard to just choose three. But we both managed to narrow it down. Adonai suggested we go one-by-one, trading off to share. Of course, I was nominated to start haha. I won't go into detail about our conversation, but I do want to list the adjectives we chose, becauuuse I really loved it. :) For Adonai, I chose the adjectives: Strong (physically, mentally, spiritually, etc.), Reliable, and Affectionate. The words that Adonai chose for me actually really surprised me, but he was so sincere in everything he said. For me, Adonai chose the adjectives: Brave, , and Vulnerable (sharing personal and deep thoughts/experiences with him). I was absolutely floored, but even more than that, I felt so grateful and appreciative for Adonai and the mutual respect and love we have for one another. Living so far apart for an extended time is difficult and challenging, but it has allowed us to grow in ways that we never could have before.
Considering the fact that I tend to have a negative outlook on most things, I can testify to the fact that negativity is cancerous. It can bring us down in an instant. But more than that, I testify of the power of positivism, the power of positive thinking. Each night I try and write Adonai a short message, letting him know of one thing I love or appreciate about him. Even if I'm feeling negative, as I focus on being sincere, my whole attitude changes. May we see the positives in our partners and have Christlike love and charity towards them. "Thee lift me and I lift thee, and together we will ascend." (Ancient proverb)
Saturday, October 17, 2015
300: Marriage Myths & Determining Divorce
So this week in my Marriage class, I swear my vocabulary doubled. Our "textbook" for the class is a book by John M. Gottman, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work." It has been so been eye-opening and helpful for me, especially considering the fact that the reality of marriage is getting closer and closer. :D (NOT complaining! Only patiently waiting!)
So this John Gottman guy is pretty intelligent I would say. Not to mention the fact that he has studied marriage and divorce patterns for well over 15 years. Once upon a time, he was one of those marriage counselors that helps people try and resolve their marriages. Also once upon a time, he used to suggest that good communication can save any marriage. He taught people about beginning their sentences with "I" instead of "you," so that you don't sound as though you are accusing your spouse of something (which I never fully could get a hang of, because I still knew deep down that I WAS accusing them or complaining about them; I just managed to flip the sentence around is all.) Gottman also used to teach couples "active listening" and "validating your partner" by truly listening and then rephrasing what they said to make sure you've understood. He used to teach ALL of that...And then he decided to go back and do his own research on marriages. Why? Because even then, maybe half of his clients were ever able to resolve their conflicts and save their marriages. Almost 50% wasn't considered good success by him.
Now, after many years of studying couples close up in "love labs" (a lab set up like a home with the ability to record and study couples in this lab) and studying their conflict-resolution patterns and physiological responses and interviewing them...I think he has found some pretty good hypotheses and helpful answers. This week we read the first couple of chapters, but we haven't quite gotten into the seven specific principles for making marriage work. Instead, I've read about some factors that can help determine divorce. We need to know these, so that we can detect them in ourselves and learn to overcome them or change them! And just as a precursor: I'm no professional or anything, I'm simply doing my best to sum up a few points that I loved and know will help me. I 100% suggest that you buy the book and read it; it is surprisingly interesting!
Before I mention a few things that can determine divorce, I want to write a little bit about one handy tool that successful marriages DO have. Let it just be said that CONFLICT, in and of itself, is not a bad thing in marriage. It is unavoidable. The way you handle the conflict and overcome it, however, can determine a happy marriage. So this one tool is called a "repair attempt". Let me sum up the example that Gottman provides. Take Olivia and Nathaniel--a happily married couple, good friendship, "positive sentiment override" (their positive feelings between each other heavily override any negative ones, so they can easily look over little hiccups), a four-year-old son, and they are in the middle of buying a new house AND car. The new house is decided on already, but the car is the hot topic as of late. Olivia wants a minivan, but Nathaniel does not want to be part of "that group." Instead, he wants a Jeep. In one of the Love Labs, Nathaniel and Olivia are in the middle of a heated discussion about which car to buy. "The more they talk about it, the higher the decibel gets. If you were a fly on the wall of their bedroom, you would have serious doubts about their future together. Then all of a sudden, Olivia puts her hands on her hips and, in perfect imitation of their four-year-old son, sticks out her tongue. Since Nathaniel knows that she's about to do this, he sticks out his tongue first. Then they both start laughing. As always, this silly contest defuses the tension between them."
What both Nathaniel and Olivia both used is the repair attempt. "This name refers to any statement or action--silly or otherwise--that prevents negativity from escalating out of control." For me, personally, I've seen/used statements like "Okay, I'm done, this is getting more tense than it should be. I'm getting stressed. Let's save this for another day." Adonai tends to use "Tranquilaaa" or just weird faces or noises to throw me off and lighten up the conversation. It works wonderfully well! I prefer the funny ones, because the laughter gets me calmed down again instead of turning my fast heart-beated stress into never-ending worry.
OKAY! Last thing I want to write about that I LOVE...Or love to learn about, at least haha. These are called "The Four Horsemen"; they are four kinds of negativity that, if uncontrolled, can destroy any relationship.
1) Criticism. This is different than a complaint, let this be known! We can complain and say, "Honey, it really annoys me that you left your clothes on the floor RIGHT next to the laundry hamper again." You are complaining about the action itself. A criticism is when you begin to attack your spouse's character or personality. Saying that they are lazy and inconsiderate for not putting the clothes in the laundry hamper is a criticism. You are looking to be nasty and mean.
2) Contempt. This is conveying disgust towards your partner. Negative and mocking sarcasm or cynicism. Sneering, hostile humor. This tells your partner that you dislike them and disrespect them on so many levels. "Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about your partner." Resolve your differences! Don't let them set and build.
3) Defensiveness. Although we think this will help us and might cause the attacking spouse to back down and calm down a bit, it hardly has that effect. This, in a sense, "is really a way of blaming your partner." You are saying, "Well I didn't wash the car, because I didn't have the cash on me." (Implying that it was your spouse's fault, because your spouse--who manages the money perhaps--didn't give you the money in the first place."
4) Stonewalling. Sorry, men, but it turns out you all are much more likely to do this. This is basically tuning out. For couples that have a lot of contempt and criticism, a spouse is likely to begin to stonewall, because they want to emotionally disengage themselves from all the hate that is being thrown at them. You are avoiding the fight, basically. Unfortunately, by disengaging and avoiding the fight, you are also disengaging and avoiding your marriage.
You GUYS! There are so many interesting things in this book! I wish I had time to explain "flooding" and "positive/negative sentiment override" and all the other signs that lead to divorce. For now, I hope this has been sufficient. It has truly helped me ponder on my relationships with all people and how I treat others.
So this John Gottman guy is pretty intelligent I would say. Not to mention the fact that he has studied marriage and divorce patterns for well over 15 years. Once upon a time, he was one of those marriage counselors that helps people try and resolve their marriages. Also once upon a time, he used to suggest that good communication can save any marriage. He taught people about beginning their sentences with "I" instead of "you," so that you don't sound as though you are accusing your spouse of something (which I never fully could get a hang of, because I still knew deep down that I WAS accusing them or complaining about them; I just managed to flip the sentence around is all.) Gottman also used to teach couples "active listening" and "validating your partner" by truly listening and then rephrasing what they said to make sure you've understood. He used to teach ALL of that...And then he decided to go back and do his own research on marriages. Why? Because even then, maybe half of his clients were ever able to resolve their conflicts and save their marriages. Almost 50% wasn't considered good success by him.
Now, after many years of studying couples close up in "love labs" (a lab set up like a home with the ability to record and study couples in this lab) and studying their conflict-resolution patterns and physiological responses and interviewing them...I think he has found some pretty good hypotheses and helpful answers. This week we read the first couple of chapters, but we haven't quite gotten into the seven specific principles for making marriage work. Instead, I've read about some factors that can help determine divorce. We need to know these, so that we can detect them in ourselves and learn to overcome them or change them! And just as a precursor: I'm no professional or anything, I'm simply doing my best to sum up a few points that I loved and know will help me. I 100% suggest that you buy the book and read it; it is surprisingly interesting!
Before I mention a few things that can determine divorce, I want to write a little bit about one handy tool that successful marriages DO have. Let it just be said that CONFLICT, in and of itself, is not a bad thing in marriage. It is unavoidable. The way you handle the conflict and overcome it, however, can determine a happy marriage. So this one tool is called a "repair attempt". Let me sum up the example that Gottman provides. Take Olivia and Nathaniel--a happily married couple, good friendship, "positive sentiment override" (their positive feelings between each other heavily override any negative ones, so they can easily look over little hiccups), a four-year-old son, and they are in the middle of buying a new house AND car. The new house is decided on already, but the car is the hot topic as of late. Olivia wants a minivan, but Nathaniel does not want to be part of "that group." Instead, he wants a Jeep. In one of the Love Labs, Nathaniel and Olivia are in the middle of a heated discussion about which car to buy. "The more they talk about it, the higher the decibel gets. If you were a fly on the wall of their bedroom, you would have serious doubts about their future together. Then all of a sudden, Olivia puts her hands on her hips and, in perfect imitation of their four-year-old son, sticks out her tongue. Since Nathaniel knows that she's about to do this, he sticks out his tongue first. Then they both start laughing. As always, this silly contest defuses the tension between them."
What both Nathaniel and Olivia both used is the repair attempt. "This name refers to any statement or action--silly or otherwise--that prevents negativity from escalating out of control." For me, personally, I've seen/used statements like "Okay, I'm done, this is getting more tense than it should be. I'm getting stressed. Let's save this for another day." Adonai tends to use "Tranquilaaa" or just weird faces or noises to throw me off and lighten up the conversation. It works wonderfully well! I prefer the funny ones, because the laughter gets me calmed down again instead of turning my fast heart-beated stress into never-ending worry.
OKAY! Last thing I want to write about that I LOVE...Or love to learn about, at least haha. These are called "The Four Horsemen"; they are four kinds of negativity that, if uncontrolled, can destroy any relationship.
1) Criticism. This is different than a complaint, let this be known! We can complain and say, "Honey, it really annoys me that you left your clothes on the floor RIGHT next to the laundry hamper again." You are complaining about the action itself. A criticism is when you begin to attack your spouse's character or personality. Saying that they are lazy and inconsiderate for not putting the clothes in the laundry hamper is a criticism. You are looking to be nasty and mean.
2) Contempt. This is conveying disgust towards your partner. Negative and mocking sarcasm or cynicism. Sneering, hostile humor. This tells your partner that you dislike them and disrespect them on so many levels. "Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about your partner." Resolve your differences! Don't let them set and build.
3) Defensiveness. Although we think this will help us and might cause the attacking spouse to back down and calm down a bit, it hardly has that effect. This, in a sense, "is really a way of blaming your partner." You are saying, "Well I didn't wash the car, because I didn't have the cash on me." (Implying that it was your spouse's fault, because your spouse--who manages the money perhaps--didn't give you the money in the first place."
4) Stonewalling. Sorry, men, but it turns out you all are much more likely to do this. This is basically tuning out. For couples that have a lot of contempt and criticism, a spouse is likely to begin to stonewall, because they want to emotionally disengage themselves from all the hate that is being thrown at them. You are avoiding the fight, basically. Unfortunately, by disengaging and avoiding the fight, you are also disengaging and avoiding your marriage.
You GUYS! There are so many interesting things in this book! I wish I had time to explain "flooding" and "positive/negative sentiment override" and all the other signs that lead to divorce. For now, I hope this has been sufficient. It has truly helped me ponder on my relationships with all people and how I treat others.
Friday, October 9, 2015
300: Why I Strive for a Temple Marriage
This week in my Marriage class for my Marriage & Family Studies major, we focused a lot on the differences between a contract marriage, also known as a civil marriage, and a covenant marriage, what is also known as a temple marriage to members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I must start out saying that this class is opening my eyes and helping me prepare for marriage in ways I never imagined. Also, it is not only helping me prepare for marriage, but also for parenthood. It is helping me figure out what I hope for in my marriage and family, and how I can fight against anything that might try and destroy my marriage.
Obviously, this topic is near and dear to heart for several reasons. One, the marriage of my parents and how it has affected me. Two, the marriages of my siblings, and how their families (my brother in-laws, nieces, nephews, etc.) have made such a profound impact on my life. Third, the family of Adonai, and their cherished words and pieces of advice given to me about marriage. And last, but certainly not least, the awaited time for when I get to marry Adonai.
I realize that I have lots of friends, family, peers, and coworkers who aren't very familiar with what we refer to as a "temple marriage" or the benefits of it. So with the help of some divine guidance in my words hopefully, this my attempt at explaining it all very simply. :)
There are temples all over the world; there are well over 100 temples! This one in the first two photos is in Seattle! The closest one to me currently is in the Tri-Cities, though.
Many things happen in the temple, but our main purpose there is to learn, make covenants (promises) with God, and help others make those promises. When speaking of a temple marriage, for me, the main difference is that the temple marriage is not just between the man and woman and state. Yes, we have that paper, as well, but as husband and wife, we aren't joined together "until death do us part". We are sealed together for time and all eternity. Getting into heaven is not free, nor is it easy. It requires some effort on our part and some vital ordinances and covenants. And for me, heaven wouldn't be quite so "heavenly" if I didn't have my family with me. I don't want to be there alone. I want to know that after this life, I will get to have my husband and family with me. Forever. So a temple marriage is a covenant (promise) between the husband, wife, and God. As long as my husband and I fulfill these promises faithfully, God will keep his promise to us. We can be exalted and live in His presence with Him, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, AND our families forever.
I know that these covenants are sacred and important. I understand the importance of a civil marriage and the binding contracts it is, but I want the blessings of a temple marriage and the sealing promise that comes with it, too. I believe in forever families. I know these things to be true, and I will continue to strive every day to make them true for me and my future family.
Obviously, this topic is near and dear to heart for several reasons. One, the marriage of my parents and how it has affected me. Two, the marriages of my siblings, and how their families (my brother in-laws, nieces, nephews, etc.) have made such a profound impact on my life. Third, the family of Adonai, and their cherished words and pieces of advice given to me about marriage. And last, but certainly not least, the awaited time for when I get to marry Adonai.
I realize that I have lots of friends, family, peers, and coworkers who aren't very familiar with what we refer to as a "temple marriage" or the benefits of it. So with the help of some divine guidance in my words hopefully, this my attempt at explaining it all very simply. :)
There are temples all over the world; there are well over 100 temples! This one in the first two photos is in Seattle! The closest one to me currently is in the Tri-Cities, though.
Seattle LDS Temple
Buenos Aires, Argentina LDS Temple
And the most well-known temple is this one:
Salt Lake City Temple
Many things happen in the temple, but our main purpose there is to learn, make covenants (promises) with God, and help others make those promises. When speaking of a temple marriage, for me, the main difference is that the temple marriage is not just between the man and woman and state. Yes, we have that paper, as well, but as husband and wife, we aren't joined together "until death do us part". We are sealed together for time and all eternity. Getting into heaven is not free, nor is it easy. It requires some effort on our part and some vital ordinances and covenants. And for me, heaven wouldn't be quite so "heavenly" if I didn't have my family with me. I don't want to be there alone. I want to know that after this life, I will get to have my husband and family with me. Forever. So a temple marriage is a covenant (promise) between the husband, wife, and God. As long as my husband and I fulfill these promises faithfully, God will keep his promise to us. We can be exalted and live in His presence with Him, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, AND our families forever.
I know that these covenants are sacred and important. I understand the importance of a civil marriage and the binding contracts it is, but I want the blessings of a temple marriage and the sealing promise that comes with it, too. I believe in forever families. I know these things to be true, and I will continue to strive every day to make them true for me and my future family.
Sunday, October 4, 2015
"So how'd you guys meet??"
Sorry for leaving everyone with a cliffhanger about the tall, dark, and handsome Mexican! I figured that post was plenty long. :P I still haven't even posted photos yet! Whew...OKAY!
So on April 19th is when this good-looking Hispanic came strutting into church, all clean cut, still looking like a missionary basically. The minute I walked into the Gospel Principles class, I recognized him right off the bat. Elder Salomón!
He served in the Washington Spokane Mission as a missionary! I happened to meet him on Preparation Days for the missionaries during my last month before heading to Argentina on MY mission. I was taking the sister missionaries to Moses Lake and spending the day with all the missionaries there. Elder Salomón was serving as the zone leader in Moses, and his amazing volleyball skills impressed me! Turns out he finished his mission and was headed back to Mexico City on the exact same day that I would be reporting to the Missionary Training Center (MTC). We never thought to stay in contact, honestly. But I do remember clearly thinking, "Dang. He's way awesome and fun. He had a BYU Volleyball t-shirt on, so maybe he plays volleyball there. That would likely be the only place I'd ever run into him again...Bummer. Oh well." :) I stopped thinking about it, he finished his mission, and I left for Utah/California/Argentina! But before leaving on that last p-day, we had to take a photo!
Now, without the name tag, he is better known as Adonai. Out of my excitement, I walk up to him, shake his hand, and say, "Tanto tiempo!" (Basically "It's been a while!") He looks at me with this somewhat occupied and surprised look (can you blame him? He was surrounded by like five other girls haha) and replies, "Sí, y ahora hablas español..." I think I asked him a couple of questions about when he got here and how long he'd be staying, which he kindly responded. I noticed the five or so girls around him, especially the one sticking right close to him, and I realized class would be starting soon, so I said bye and went and sat down next to Sydnee, my friend. During the class, I glanced back to where he was sitting (out of PURE curiosity, I swear! Haha maybe...), and I noticed again the girl next to him and saw her arm weaved through his, and she was resting her head on his shoulder. Hmph. Cool. No big deal. I just assumed he had come back to visit for her.
Well as class got out, I made my way over to another friend (we found out we're 4th cousins...CRAZY!). I may have headed that direction because Rhoan (my 4th cousin and also Sydnee's boyfriend) happened to be talking with Adonai in Spanish. I'll never pass up the chance to speak in Spanish! Not to mention the fact that this was the first time I'd seen Adonai being trailed by any girl haha. :D So we talked a bit about my mission and such, what he had been up to, little stuff. Y'know. The usual ;) Well out walks this other girl again, and he was going to be taking her home and having dinner with her family. So we went to say bye, but since we're both so used to the "latino way" of saying 'hello' and 'goodbye', that's how we did it! A kiss on the cheek and a good hug. :) Needless to say, my heart melted. I missed that so much from Argentina, and it made me miss that loving and open and fun culture.
Anyway, shortly after, I headed home. About 5 miles before getting into town, I look at my phone and see a missed call...From Mexico. I was so confused. (I have now come to figure out that my phone marks these calls wrong, they're actually from WGU out of Utah. Yes, I know, weird mistake). At the time, there were only two possible people I knew from Mexico who would ever call me. An elder from my mission, but I quickly decided it wasn't him since he was living in Utah and would have used his Utah phone. I quickly came to the conclusion that I should message Adonai Salomón on Facebook and ask if he tried calling me. (Talking about it later, he totally thought I was just looking for excuses to talk to him haha. Not true, but I wasn't about to complain, either haha). Well it turned out that Adonai owns a U.S. phone, so no, he didn't call me. Still confused, I just decided to drop it...But, smart guy, he decided to get a conversation going. Long story short, he asked what was going on for Family Home Evening in Moses Lake the following day. It was, PERFECTLY, volleyball. :)
(NOTE: After talking about this again later on with Adonai, turns out he actually didn't even KNOW who I was when I talked to him that Sunday! Hahaha. He recognized me, but he wasn't totally sure. While we were talking on Facebook he finally figured it out! It still makes me laugh to this day haha.)
So the next day, April 20th, we played some volleyball! We were playing on opposing teams for a little bit, and he was obviously the stand-out player with the most experience haha. But after a bit we sat down and talked just a little bit. There was an extra volleyball off to the side, so I went and got it and tossed it to Adonai. (I swear, I am NOT the flirting type. I'm not sure why I was so comfortable with just going up and talking with him and pulling him aside from everyone else to play a little volleyball just him and I haha). But I am SO glad I did! Obviously ;) We did our best to talk while laughing and playing together, but obviously FHE was coming to an end. We helped to put things away, and he was about to be picked up by another family that he was going to visit and take a trip with. So I went and said bye (another kiss on the cheek and a good hug! :P ), and we went our separate ways...I'll admit it. I was bummed that I didn't know when I'd get to see or talk to him again...
I knew he was headed out on a week-long trip with the other family, so I decided to not think too much about it. Besides, I didn't want to be annoying and text him a ton, so after that night, I didn't!...But what do you know! The next morning I get a few messages from him. I knew he was off touring places and sight-seeing, so I didn't reply much. But he continued to send me photos of what they were doing and everything! I thought...What the heck, I'm not going to worry about annoying him. Next thing I know, we're setting up a date to go canoeing on the lake and eating Mexican food for that first day in May, a Friday afternoon, since I didn't work on Fridays...I may have mentioned being bummed that I'd have to wait so long to go canoeing...I think he was getting the hint that I kinda sorta REALLY liked this tall, dark, and handsome Mexican ;) So instead of waiting another week and a half or so, we planned to go to an FHE at a member's house on the 27th of April. Well...Sadly, I had to cancel. I had to stay way late at work for some volunteer thing I signed up for, but I told him I'd still go and visit after! Even if it was already 8:45 at night..."You mean you'd come here to visit for a whole 30-45 minutes and then drive back another 40 minutes to your house?" He asked me...Okay, it didn't make sense, no. But I totally would have gone! Instead, I invited him to go to Institute with me the next day! :D
I showed up to the Willard's house for the first time ever, which is where he was staying. (BEST. Family. Ever...Aside from my own haha...) They had practically adopted Adonai haha. Well I get there about 6 pm, and they invite me inside to eat dinner, which I had not been planning on. It was a little awkward for me, I'll admit haha. Just Mom and Dad Willard, Adonai, and I. But it was fine. :) After eating, Adonai and I headed out. We had some time before institute started, so we stopped by the Japanese Garden. Took a stroll, sat on the grass, talked, laughed. He already knew I had kind of fallen for him, so he was doing his best to get me to answer questions like when did I first like him (was it when I met him as a missionary or no?) and things like that. I was only a little stubborn haha. But it was all far too natural-feeling. We were obviously extremely comfortable with one another, and it was fun.
Well we headed to institute (only a little late!), and since I still had some time afterwards, we decided we wanted to go on another walk! So we parked at the library and took a walk downtown, through a park, by the river/lake, and back to the car. We went back and forth, asking each other questions, learning more about each other and our backgrounds. It was surprisingly easy to open up to him. I stumbled over my words and tongue a LOT, and I realized I'm not very good at forming my thoughts completely haha. But I didn't mind telling him those hard things; and let me tell you, he does a GREAT job at asking the right questions! I think he figured out a lot more about me than I did about him. We weren't even officially dating, and this was technically our "first date", but we had both just came to the conclusion that we wanted to give it a shot. (For my own record: The question of the night was, "Que esperas conmigo? (What are you hoping with me?) What was I expecting out of dating him? I REALLY stumbled over my words on that! "Uhhh...get to know you better, what you're like, see how things might work between us...?" Haha. I asked him the same question...His answer, "Lo mismo, conocerte mejor, ver como eres, ver como va todo entre nosotros, y...pues si todo sale bien...formar una familia contigo."...I leave the translation up to anyone who chooses to translate it haha. I was a little stunned, yes, but I always appreciate his honesty and directness. And can you blame him? We're both returned missionaries, and that's the "next step" usually after dating. I think that's how we both came to the conclusion we'd like to give dating each other a shot. He was direct. And although I was surprised by his answer, I loved it. It helped me know and understand how serious he was.)
Now, I've always sworn that I never kiss on first dates. But as I walked into Cherlyn's house that night, Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch, and they asked how it all went. I had already explained to them about the elder who I had met and was now back visiting, and I had told them I was going to give him a ride to institute. So I told them how it went, and as I was heading to my room, my mother asks around the corner, "Well did you kiss???" My clearly responded, "YUP!" and went into my room. :)
The rest is all kind of history! Haha. I saw him again a couple days later after his class, and we went for another walk close by (neither of us like to spend money, so that's what most of our dates consisted of. :D ). On May 1st I had a softball game in Wenatchee. Mom and I went to the temple that morning. We had about an hour before my game, though, so I took Adonai to see Feather Rocks. It was a gorgeous evening, perfect for softball playing. And obviously perfect for making everything "official"!
So he manned up and officially asked me to be his girlfriend. (That still sounds weird to me, being a girlfriend haha, it had been so long!) We went to my softball game, where he sat and watched and mentioned to his family that he was dating someone. I got to talk with his dad for the first time over phone. :) For the next week or so, we continued to drive back and forth and spend time together.
The photo he sent to his family to show them his new girlfriend haha.
He had mentioned to me once that he was thinking of going back to Mexico. He said he felt like he had found what he came for and needed to go back and begin working and saving. We talked about me spending the summer in Mexico maybe; we tossed around all sorts of ideas. Now as I look back, I realize that it sounds kind of ridiculous to think that we were dating so seriously already after only a week. Well Adonai had said that maybe after a couple weeks he would head back to Mexico...Unfortunately, that "couple of weeks" turned to "Shelan...I think I'm leaving this weekend. I want to be able to surprise my mom for Mother's Day...Then later I come back, and we can go back to Mexico together if you'd like." :( It was sad, but I understood. So we made plans to head over to Tacoma on the 9th, Saturday, and stay at Grandma's that night. I was to take Adonai to the airport the next morning and then head back home for church. We arrived in Tacoma, and before heading to Grandma's, we decided to take one last walk through a Chinese garden.
He began teaching me how to dance cumbia, we took photos (obviously), and finally when we realized we were hungry, we decided to head back to the car and scout out some dinner. As we get to the car, I go to put my key in and unlock the car when I realize--it's already unlocked! I was so confused. I open the door, and I see the glovebox wide open. Right where I had placed my wallet, which was now gone. I look in the back seat, and my heart dropped. ALL of Adonai's things were gone. Everything. His backpack, his luggage, his Mexico phone, and my backpack. Literally, the only thing he had left were the clothes he was wearing, his wallet, and his U.S. phone...The only thing we could do was laugh. It was ridiculous and awful all at the same time. We had to call the police and banks to cancel cards and report what had been stolen. Then Adonai shocked me...
"Uh, amor, could you look up Delta's number? I need to cancel my flight. And visa. And passport..."
Ohhh my gosh. NO, I didn't have anyone purposely rob us, so that I could keep him longer haha. But yes, I've heard it a thousand times. And yes, the $250 cash in my wallet that got stolen was well worth being able to keep Adonai around for a while longer. :) I still don't know if he thought it was totally worth it haha, but I'm so proud of how composed he stayed. I know he was fuming and had lost so much trust in people, but he kept calm. We talked. A lot. Even more that night at Grandma's house. That sweet woman. She not only gave us beds to sleep on, a place to shower, and food to eat, but she also gave us gas money to get home, since we had none. Adonai truly amazed me, though.
It was a long, frustrating process to get him a new passport, and it took several trips back to Tacoma and Seattle. It required us to be very humbled, mostly him, since the Willard's wanted to help him out so much. (He's a guy; he likes being independent and able to do thing for himself.) Yes, he lost a lot; I only lost a few things, but we gained a good two extra months together!
In that time, we continued to deepen our relationship and make memories together. And with my family! He was brave enough to not only drive 24 hours to meet Dene', Kenny, their kids, and their brand new baby girl, but he also met BOTH of my brothers at the same time, AND slept on either a couch or in a car for two weeks! Whew. I can't even imagine. He did far too well. :) Mom even came to the conclusion that had he not stayed longer, my siblings probably never would've been able to meet him.
Trista and her wonderful family also planned a perfectly-timed trip to come and visit, so he even got to meet THEM, and they were able to see a Mexican go boating for the first time ever!
He even got to meet some more aunts, uncles, and cousins...Dang. Now that I think about it, I put him through a lot haha. He's such a good sport. :) I'll include photos in the next post!
Oh! And one of the BEST things that happened, wasss...a RING! Ignore the fact that it looks like we just woke up, because we had haha. He proposed at like 5:30 AM on July 2nd! At Feather Rocks, where he asked me to be his girlfriend. :) (To give him MAJOR credit, he wanted to ask me on the 1st out at the Feathers, and he had a great plan all figured it out...But due to moving, and my "stubbornness", I completely ruined it. I STILL totally regret it to this day...) BUT, the 2nd will just have to do. :) And since I ruined the plans, he told me we had to go out to the Feathers to see the sunrise the next day. :) Haha so I agreed. And he got on a knee and asked me the big question. :)
We were already fully into summer, and we had already begun the complicated process of putting together paperwork and evidence for his fiance visa, so that he would be able to come back and marry me! :D
Working on fiance visa paperwork together!
And finally sending it off to the USCIS!!
So instead of just sending him back to Mexico, we both flew to Texas, where we met up with his dad and two sisters and got to meet a lot of his extended family! We all drove back down to Mexico, where I was able to meet some of his extended family, come to love his immediate family, get to know his culture better, learn different foods, and absolutely cry my eyes out with Adonai at the airport when I had to come home...I spent over a month down there with them, and I can't wait to go back. It was not easy when for the first while, because of lots of new people, new Spanish slang, etc. But it made me realize what all he went through, too. I also was able to FINALLY feel confident in dancing, and I absolutely LOVE it! We went to as many dances as possible. There was even one where his sister got engaged, too! So of Oscar and Rosa's three children, two of them are now engaged and ready to get married. :) Anyway, I have tons of pictures to include in the next post, obviously. I'll tell of more experiences then!
For now...We are waiting as patiently as possible (which happens to be rather impatiently at times haha) to hear back from the National Visa Center about the status of his visa. We are so close, yet so far. There is still so much to do, but we have faith! Adonai is still in Mexico with his family and working AND studying extremely hard so that everything will be in place to come back up here to me. :) I'm still working in ISS (and, yes, I'm still loving it--most days haha) ;) and also studying Marriage and Family Studies (yes! I finally figured out what I'm doing for school! I'm still going through BYU-Idaho just all online for now so that I can work), and I'm coaching 7th grade volleyball! It's a blast, and I stay plenty busy. Adonai and I talk as much as we can on Skype and Facebook, which isn't very long at times, but we're making it work. We simply have to stay constant, keep the faith, and continue to check the mailbox every day! :D
So on April 19th is when this good-looking Hispanic came strutting into church, all clean cut, still looking like a missionary basically. The minute I walked into the Gospel Principles class, I recognized him right off the bat. Elder Salomón!
He served in the Washington Spokane Mission as a missionary! I happened to meet him on Preparation Days for the missionaries during my last month before heading to Argentina on MY mission. I was taking the sister missionaries to Moses Lake and spending the day with all the missionaries there. Elder Salomón was serving as the zone leader in Moses, and his amazing volleyball skills impressed me! Turns out he finished his mission and was headed back to Mexico City on the exact same day that I would be reporting to the Missionary Training Center (MTC). We never thought to stay in contact, honestly. But I do remember clearly thinking, "Dang. He's way awesome and fun. He had a BYU Volleyball t-shirt on, so maybe he plays volleyball there. That would likely be the only place I'd ever run into him again...Bummer. Oh well." :) I stopped thinking about it, he finished his mission, and I left for Utah/California/Argentina! But before leaving on that last p-day, we had to take a photo!
Now, without the name tag, he is better known as Adonai. Out of my excitement, I walk up to him, shake his hand, and say, "Tanto tiempo!" (Basically "It's been a while!") He looks at me with this somewhat occupied and surprised look (can you blame him? He was surrounded by like five other girls haha) and replies, "Sí, y ahora hablas español..." I think I asked him a couple of questions about when he got here and how long he'd be staying, which he kindly responded. I noticed the five or so girls around him, especially the one sticking right close to him, and I realized class would be starting soon, so I said bye and went and sat down next to Sydnee, my friend. During the class, I glanced back to where he was sitting (out of PURE curiosity, I swear! Haha maybe...), and I noticed again the girl next to him and saw her arm weaved through his, and she was resting her head on his shoulder. Hmph. Cool. No big deal. I just assumed he had come back to visit for her.
Well as class got out, I made my way over to another friend (we found out we're 4th cousins...CRAZY!). I may have headed that direction because Rhoan (my 4th cousin and also Sydnee's boyfriend) happened to be talking with Adonai in Spanish. I'll never pass up the chance to speak in Spanish! Not to mention the fact that this was the first time I'd seen Adonai being trailed by any girl haha. :D So we talked a bit about my mission and such, what he had been up to, little stuff. Y'know. The usual ;) Well out walks this other girl again, and he was going to be taking her home and having dinner with her family. So we went to say bye, but since we're both so used to the "latino way" of saying 'hello' and 'goodbye', that's how we did it! A kiss on the cheek and a good hug. :) Needless to say, my heart melted. I missed that so much from Argentina, and it made me miss that loving and open and fun culture.
Anyway, shortly after, I headed home. About 5 miles before getting into town, I look at my phone and see a missed call...From Mexico. I was so confused. (I have now come to figure out that my phone marks these calls wrong, they're actually from WGU out of Utah. Yes, I know, weird mistake). At the time, there were only two possible people I knew from Mexico who would ever call me. An elder from my mission, but I quickly decided it wasn't him since he was living in Utah and would have used his Utah phone. I quickly came to the conclusion that I should message Adonai Salomón on Facebook and ask if he tried calling me. (Talking about it later, he totally thought I was just looking for excuses to talk to him haha. Not true, but I wasn't about to complain, either haha). Well it turned out that Adonai owns a U.S. phone, so no, he didn't call me. Still confused, I just decided to drop it...But, smart guy, he decided to get a conversation going. Long story short, he asked what was going on for Family Home Evening in Moses Lake the following day. It was, PERFECTLY, volleyball. :)
(NOTE: After talking about this again later on with Adonai, turns out he actually didn't even KNOW who I was when I talked to him that Sunday! Hahaha. He recognized me, but he wasn't totally sure. While we were talking on Facebook he finally figured it out! It still makes me laugh to this day haha.)
So the next day, April 20th, we played some volleyball! We were playing on opposing teams for a little bit, and he was obviously the stand-out player with the most experience haha. But after a bit we sat down and talked just a little bit. There was an extra volleyball off to the side, so I went and got it and tossed it to Adonai. (I swear, I am NOT the flirting type. I'm not sure why I was so comfortable with just going up and talking with him and pulling him aside from everyone else to play a little volleyball just him and I haha). But I am SO glad I did! Obviously ;) We did our best to talk while laughing and playing together, but obviously FHE was coming to an end. We helped to put things away, and he was about to be picked up by another family that he was going to visit and take a trip with. So I went and said bye (another kiss on the cheek and a good hug! :P ), and we went our separate ways...I'll admit it. I was bummed that I didn't know when I'd get to see or talk to him again...
I knew he was headed out on a week-long trip with the other family, so I decided to not think too much about it. Besides, I didn't want to be annoying and text him a ton, so after that night, I didn't!...But what do you know! The next morning I get a few messages from him. I knew he was off touring places and sight-seeing, so I didn't reply much. But he continued to send me photos of what they were doing and everything! I thought...What the heck, I'm not going to worry about annoying him. Next thing I know, we're setting up a date to go canoeing on the lake and eating Mexican food for that first day in May, a Friday afternoon, since I didn't work on Fridays...I may have mentioned being bummed that I'd have to wait so long to go canoeing...I think he was getting the hint that I kinda sorta REALLY liked this tall, dark, and handsome Mexican ;) So instead of waiting another week and a half or so, we planned to go to an FHE at a member's house on the 27th of April. Well...Sadly, I had to cancel. I had to stay way late at work for some volunteer thing I signed up for, but I told him I'd still go and visit after! Even if it was already 8:45 at night..."You mean you'd come here to visit for a whole 30-45 minutes and then drive back another 40 minutes to your house?" He asked me...Okay, it didn't make sense, no. But I totally would have gone! Instead, I invited him to go to Institute with me the next day! :D
I showed up to the Willard's house for the first time ever, which is where he was staying. (BEST. Family. Ever...Aside from my own haha...) They had practically adopted Adonai haha. Well I get there about 6 pm, and they invite me inside to eat dinner, which I had not been planning on. It was a little awkward for me, I'll admit haha. Just Mom and Dad Willard, Adonai, and I. But it was fine. :) After eating, Adonai and I headed out. We had some time before institute started, so we stopped by the Japanese Garden. Took a stroll, sat on the grass, talked, laughed. He already knew I had kind of fallen for him, so he was doing his best to get me to answer questions like when did I first like him (was it when I met him as a missionary or no?) and things like that. I was only a little stubborn haha. But it was all far too natural-feeling. We were obviously extremely comfortable with one another, and it was fun.
Well we headed to institute (only a little late!), and since I still had some time afterwards, we decided we wanted to go on another walk! So we parked at the library and took a walk downtown, through a park, by the river/lake, and back to the car. We went back and forth, asking each other questions, learning more about each other and our backgrounds. It was surprisingly easy to open up to him. I stumbled over my words and tongue a LOT, and I realized I'm not very good at forming my thoughts completely haha. But I didn't mind telling him those hard things; and let me tell you, he does a GREAT job at asking the right questions! I think he figured out a lot more about me than I did about him. We weren't even officially dating, and this was technically our "first date", but we had both just came to the conclusion that we wanted to give it a shot. (For my own record: The question of the night was, "Que esperas conmigo? (What are you hoping with me?) What was I expecting out of dating him? I REALLY stumbled over my words on that! "Uhhh...get to know you better, what you're like, see how things might work between us...?" Haha. I asked him the same question...His answer, "Lo mismo, conocerte mejor, ver como eres, ver como va todo entre nosotros, y...pues si todo sale bien...formar una familia contigo."...I leave the translation up to anyone who chooses to translate it haha. I was a little stunned, yes, but I always appreciate his honesty and directness. And can you blame him? We're both returned missionaries, and that's the "next step" usually after dating. I think that's how we both came to the conclusion we'd like to give dating each other a shot. He was direct. And although I was surprised by his answer, I loved it. It helped me know and understand how serious he was.)
Now, I've always sworn that I never kiss on first dates. But as I walked into Cherlyn's house that night, Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch, and they asked how it all went. I had already explained to them about the elder who I had met and was now back visiting, and I had told them I was going to give him a ride to institute. So I told them how it went, and as I was heading to my room, my mother asks around the corner, "Well did you kiss???" My clearly responded, "YUP!" and went into my room. :)
The rest is all kind of history! Haha. I saw him again a couple days later after his class, and we went for another walk close by (neither of us like to spend money, so that's what most of our dates consisted of. :D ). On May 1st I had a softball game in Wenatchee. Mom and I went to the temple that morning. We had about an hour before my game, though, so I took Adonai to see Feather Rocks. It was a gorgeous evening, perfect for softball playing. And obviously perfect for making everything "official"!
So he manned up and officially asked me to be his girlfriend. (That still sounds weird to me, being a girlfriend haha, it had been so long!) We went to my softball game, where he sat and watched and mentioned to his family that he was dating someone. I got to talk with his dad for the first time over phone. :) For the next week or so, we continued to drive back and forth and spend time together.
The photo he sent to his family to show them his new girlfriend haha.
I think the second time Mom and Dad and Cherlyn got to meet him. :)
He had mentioned to me once that he was thinking of going back to Mexico. He said he felt like he had found what he came for and needed to go back and begin working and saving. We talked about me spending the summer in Mexico maybe; we tossed around all sorts of ideas. Now as I look back, I realize that it sounds kind of ridiculous to think that we were dating so seriously already after only a week. Well Adonai had said that maybe after a couple weeks he would head back to Mexico...Unfortunately, that "couple of weeks" turned to "Shelan...I think I'm leaving this weekend. I want to be able to surprise my mom for Mother's Day...Then later I come back, and we can go back to Mexico together if you'd like." :( It was sad, but I understood. So we made plans to head over to Tacoma on the 9th, Saturday, and stay at Grandma's that night. I was to take Adonai to the airport the next morning and then head back home for church. We arrived in Tacoma, and before heading to Grandma's, we decided to take one last walk through a Chinese garden.
He began teaching me how to dance cumbia, we took photos (obviously), and finally when we realized we were hungry, we decided to head back to the car and scout out some dinner. As we get to the car, I go to put my key in and unlock the car when I realize--it's already unlocked! I was so confused. I open the door, and I see the glovebox wide open. Right where I had placed my wallet, which was now gone. I look in the back seat, and my heart dropped. ALL of Adonai's things were gone. Everything. His backpack, his luggage, his Mexico phone, and my backpack. Literally, the only thing he had left were the clothes he was wearing, his wallet, and his U.S. phone...The only thing we could do was laugh. It was ridiculous and awful all at the same time. We had to call the police and banks to cancel cards and report what had been stolen. Then Adonai shocked me...
"Uh, amor, could you look up Delta's number? I need to cancel my flight. And visa. And passport..."
Ohhh my gosh. NO, I didn't have anyone purposely rob us, so that I could keep him longer haha. But yes, I've heard it a thousand times. And yes, the $250 cash in my wallet that got stolen was well worth being able to keep Adonai around for a while longer. :) I still don't know if he thought it was totally worth it haha, but I'm so proud of how composed he stayed. I know he was fuming and had lost so much trust in people, but he kept calm. We talked. A lot. Even more that night at Grandma's house. That sweet woman. She not only gave us beds to sleep on, a place to shower, and food to eat, but she also gave us gas money to get home, since we had none. Adonai truly amazed me, though.
It was a long, frustrating process to get him a new passport, and it took several trips back to Tacoma and Seattle. It required us to be very humbled, mostly him, since the Willard's wanted to help him out so much. (He's a guy; he likes being independent and able to do thing for himself.) Yes, he lost a lot; I only lost a few things, but we gained a good two extra months together!
In that time, we continued to deepen our relationship and make memories together. And with my family! He was brave enough to not only drive 24 hours to meet Dene', Kenny, their kids, and their brand new baby girl, but he also met BOTH of my brothers at the same time, AND slept on either a couch or in a car for two weeks! Whew. I can't even imagine. He did far too well. :) Mom even came to the conclusion that had he not stayed longer, my siblings probably never would've been able to meet him.
Trista and her wonderful family also planned a perfectly-timed trip to come and visit, so he even got to meet THEM, and they were able to see a Mexican go boating for the first time ever!
He even got to meet some more aunts, uncles, and cousins...Dang. Now that I think about it, I put him through a lot haha. He's such a good sport. :) I'll include photos in the next post!
Oh! And one of the BEST things that happened, wasss...a RING! Ignore the fact that it looks like we just woke up, because we had haha. He proposed at like 5:30 AM on July 2nd! At Feather Rocks, where he asked me to be his girlfriend. :) (To give him MAJOR credit, he wanted to ask me on the 1st out at the Feathers, and he had a great plan all figured it out...But due to moving, and my "stubbornness", I completely ruined it. I STILL totally regret it to this day...) BUT, the 2nd will just have to do. :) And since I ruined the plans, he told me we had to go out to the Feathers to see the sunrise the next day. :) Haha so I agreed. And he got on a knee and asked me the big question. :)
We were already fully into summer, and we had already begun the complicated process of putting together paperwork and evidence for his fiance visa, so that he would be able to come back and marry me! :D
Working on fiance visa paperwork together!
And finally sending it off to the USCIS!!
So instead of just sending him back to Mexico, we both flew to Texas, where we met up with his dad and two sisters and got to meet a lot of his extended family! We all drove back down to Mexico, where I was able to meet some of his extended family, come to love his immediate family, get to know his culture better, learn different foods, and absolutely cry my eyes out with Adonai at the airport when I had to come home...I spent over a month down there with them, and I can't wait to go back. It was not easy when for the first while, because of lots of new people, new Spanish slang, etc. But it made me realize what all he went through, too. I also was able to FINALLY feel confident in dancing, and I absolutely LOVE it! We went to as many dances as possible. There was even one where his sister got engaged, too! So of Oscar and Rosa's three children, two of them are now engaged and ready to get married. :) Anyway, I have tons of pictures to include in the next post, obviously. I'll tell of more experiences then!
For now...We are waiting as patiently as possible (which happens to be rather impatiently at times haha) to hear back from the National Visa Center about the status of his visa. We are so close, yet so far. There is still so much to do, but we have faith! Adonai is still in Mexico with his family and working AND studying extremely hard so that everything will be in place to come back up here to me. :) I'm still working in ISS (and, yes, I'm still loving it--most days haha) ;) and also studying Marriage and Family Studies (yes! I finally figured out what I'm doing for school! I'm still going through BYU-Idaho just all online for now so that I can work), and I'm coaching 7th grade volleyball! It's a blast, and I stay plenty busy. Adonai and I talk as much as we can on Skype and Facebook, which isn't very long at times, but we're making it work. We simply have to stay constant, keep the faith, and continue to check the mailbox every day! :D
Life Can Change In The Blink of An Eye
"At any point in your life you can walk away, fly away, drive away. You can completely change your life in an instant. If you want to."
Who would have thought that ten months would escape me as fast as they have. And who could have imagined how much life would change! Needless to say, in these last ten months, I have done all of those things mentioned in that quote.
I have walked away from bad situations, questionable relationships, and unsure educational opportunities. Yet, at the same time, I haven't gone anywhere. I have stayed in the small town of Quincy instead of heading back to college or to Chile to teach English. Of ALL of my ideas, Heavenly Father has (thanks heavens) guided me to...well, here. "Grow where you are planted." That's exactly what I'm doing! Literally. In Quincy haha.
I have flown away! To LOTS of places! Chicago, Iowa, Albuquerque, Utah, and (the best one yet) Mexico! And let me tell you...Those were some of the best trips ever. No worries, I'll go into more detail about all of this! :D
And I have definitely driven away! LOTS of trips to Moses Lake, several to Seattle/Tacoma, a couple to Rexburg, and a few more to the temples in Spokane, Tri-Cities, and Seattle. LOTS of driving.
And, best of all, I have made some drastic changes to my life. (:
(Note: To any reading this, it is rather lengthy haha. But I'm writing it more for myself to have later on, but feel free to read on! :P )
Let's start with January! I was working as a substitute para professional all through December, but I had found out that the In-School Suspension teacher from the high school was going to be moving. I worried about applying, because I wasn't planning on staying after this year. I planned on going back to Rexburg after June/July. But I decided to apply anyways with some encouragement from my boss! I had the interview, and I did mention that I wasn't planning on staying...Annnd I was NOT offered the position...But the Lord definitely has a way of making things work out in His way haha. Oddly, I was not particularly worried. They asked me to fill the position for about 2 weeks until the REAL person they hired could start. Well, they changed the work schedule. The new lady turned the job down. Sooo I was hired! And thanks heavens! Because for some odd reason, the Lord just knew I would end up sticking around here for a bit. :D
January was sort of the month where I figured it all out. I was finally feeling confident in what I would be doing (working, saving, and then heading back to school in June or so!), and I was optimistic about being strong and obedient and loving life...Also, near the end of the month, a young man walked into the picture, all the way from Tennessee.
February...So this young man came to Quincy to work for a while. I met him at institute, and he wanted to start carpooling to institute. It was pretty fun, and hanging out with him and Aleen Guerra (now Aleen Hyer!) was a blast. So we sort of began dating, but I felt extremely unsure about dating him. Especially since it was possible he would be getting sent back to Utah for work. Despite the fact that Mom and Dad loved the guy, and he was really fun, this is where I decided to walk away. Sure enough, two days after I decided to not get more involved, he was called back to Utah. Listo. Ya. Walked away. Moved on.
After reading through my journal a bit, it sounds like March was full of scripture study, personal reflections, and inner peace--knowing that I was making the right choices. Even though I wasn't 100% sure about anything at this point, I wasn't stressed out or worried. I just knew things would work out. (And, oh, how they have! :) ...) I MUST share one hilarious thing that I had gotten out of Stake Conference, though. The Stake President unexpectedly asked 3 young men who were preparing to serve missions to go up and share their testimonies. The three walk up, and the last one to share his testimony stands up and says, "So President just asked us to come up and bear our testimonies...I'm not going to lie. My eyes were closed, and I don't have my shoes on!...Good morning!" Hahahaha! We all died laughing, and everyone up on the stand immediately started busting up even more after glancing down at his feet. Sure enough! He only had socks on haha.
Also in March we moved to Cherlyn's! And I must admit that I am SO grateful that I had that chance to live with her. She may be my cousin who lives just on the other side of town, but I hardly knew her. Now as I sat next to her in church today, we giggled and chatted about life and plans. :) I love her to death. Anywho, yes. I focused a lot on scripture study and prayer during this month, wanting to make sure that I was making the right decisions. And I can't describe the peace that I felt. Something little that I wrote in my journal: "This peace does not come from the outside world, my job, institute, etc. It comes from somewhere deep inside. It is just this strong and solid, yet comfortable and quiet, assurance that everything is okay. I may not be insanely righteous and perfect, but I do my best. I may not make a lot of money; my softball team may have gotten slaughtered yesterday; I may not have all my schooling done; and I may not be married...But everything will be okay." ..I was so wise! I should take my own advice. I need that kind of patience and feeling that everything will work out in the time of the Lord! :P
This was also in the early Spring, which was when SOFTBALL STARTED! Well I was working a somewhat funky schedule (7:30-5:00, Mon-Thurs), so I went to practice for just a little bit each day, but it was worth it. Anywho, a fellow coach mentioned WGU for schooling--all online, basically. And I really liked the idea! So I looked into it, and I was going to change to Math Education, but something kept holding me back. Whether it was work, softball, or indecisiveness I'm not sure, but I did nothing with it. I just continued to research it.
Well, General Conference weekend/Spring Break in April lead me to taking a trip to Utah and Rexburg...
Driving to Seattle to go to the airport! Mom joined me for the day to go eat delicious sushi!
Probably the most beautiful shot I had ever seen on a plane...
Like the pictures show, I mostly went to visit some friends. But I also wanted to make a trip to the temple there...And oddly, as I walked around campus and reacquainted myself with everything, I wasn't feeling so excited or great about the idea of returning to Rexburg. I LOVE the school, but I don't know. When I went to the temple, I got to reading a little bit. Take a read through Doctrine & Covenants 111 with the question, "Where should I go?" Especially after verse 3 haha. "Therefore, it is expedient that you should form acquaintance with men in this city, as you should be led, and as it shall be given you." Haha I just about died laughing in the temple. Well I felt I needed to stay in Quincy for a while is what I got to thinking...So I started looking into online schooling and making hints to my boss that I was thinking about sticking around for a while longer, like at least another year...
I decided that the best way to "form acquaintance with men" was by going to the Young Single Adult ward, despite the fact that I wasn't a huge fan of the idea haha. But BOY does the Lord know how to lead and guide! On probably the second or third week of attending the YSA ward, a tall, dark, and handsome Mexican had flown to Washington to visit his mission!
Who would have thought that ten months would escape me as fast as they have. And who could have imagined how much life would change! Needless to say, in these last ten months, I have done all of those things mentioned in that quote.
I have walked away from bad situations, questionable relationships, and unsure educational opportunities. Yet, at the same time, I haven't gone anywhere. I have stayed in the small town of Quincy instead of heading back to college or to Chile to teach English. Of ALL of my ideas, Heavenly Father has (thanks heavens) guided me to...well, here. "Grow where you are planted." That's exactly what I'm doing! Literally. In Quincy haha.
I have flown away! To LOTS of places! Chicago, Iowa, Albuquerque, Utah, and (the best one yet) Mexico! And let me tell you...Those were some of the best trips ever. No worries, I'll go into more detail about all of this! :D
And I have definitely driven away! LOTS of trips to Moses Lake, several to Seattle/Tacoma, a couple to Rexburg, and a few more to the temples in Spokane, Tri-Cities, and Seattle. LOTS of driving.
And, best of all, I have made some drastic changes to my life. (:
(Note: To any reading this, it is rather lengthy haha. But I'm writing it more for myself to have later on, but feel free to read on! :P )
Let's start with January! I was working as a substitute para professional all through December, but I had found out that the In-School Suspension teacher from the high school was going to be moving. I worried about applying, because I wasn't planning on staying after this year. I planned on going back to Rexburg after June/July. But I decided to apply anyways with some encouragement from my boss! I had the interview, and I did mention that I wasn't planning on staying...Annnd I was NOT offered the position...But the Lord definitely has a way of making things work out in His way haha. Oddly, I was not particularly worried. They asked me to fill the position for about 2 weeks until the REAL person they hired could start. Well, they changed the work schedule. The new lady turned the job down. Sooo I was hired! And thanks heavens! Because for some odd reason, the Lord just knew I would end up sticking around here for a bit. :D
January was sort of the month where I figured it all out. I was finally feeling confident in what I would be doing (working, saving, and then heading back to school in June or so!), and I was optimistic about being strong and obedient and loving life...Also, near the end of the month, a young man walked into the picture, all the way from Tennessee.
February...So this young man came to Quincy to work for a while. I met him at institute, and he wanted to start carpooling to institute. It was pretty fun, and hanging out with him and Aleen Guerra (now Aleen Hyer!) was a blast. So we sort of began dating, but I felt extremely unsure about dating him. Especially since it was possible he would be getting sent back to Utah for work. Despite the fact that Mom and Dad loved the guy, and he was really fun, this is where I decided to walk away. Sure enough, two days after I decided to not get more involved, he was called back to Utah. Listo. Ya. Walked away. Moved on.
After reading through my journal a bit, it sounds like March was full of scripture study, personal reflections, and inner peace--knowing that I was making the right choices. Even though I wasn't 100% sure about anything at this point, I wasn't stressed out or worried. I just knew things would work out. (And, oh, how they have! :) ...) I MUST share one hilarious thing that I had gotten out of Stake Conference, though. The Stake President unexpectedly asked 3 young men who were preparing to serve missions to go up and share their testimonies. The three walk up, and the last one to share his testimony stands up and says, "So President just asked us to come up and bear our testimonies...I'm not going to lie. My eyes were closed, and I don't have my shoes on!...Good morning!" Hahahaha! We all died laughing, and everyone up on the stand immediately started busting up even more after glancing down at his feet. Sure enough! He only had socks on haha.
Also in March we moved to Cherlyn's! And I must admit that I am SO grateful that I had that chance to live with her. She may be my cousin who lives just on the other side of town, but I hardly knew her. Now as I sat next to her in church today, we giggled and chatted about life and plans. :) I love her to death. Anywho, yes. I focused a lot on scripture study and prayer during this month, wanting to make sure that I was making the right decisions. And I can't describe the peace that I felt. Something little that I wrote in my journal: "This peace does not come from the outside world, my job, institute, etc. It comes from somewhere deep inside. It is just this strong and solid, yet comfortable and quiet, assurance that everything is okay. I may not be insanely righteous and perfect, but I do my best. I may not make a lot of money; my softball team may have gotten slaughtered yesterday; I may not have all my schooling done; and I may not be married...But everything will be okay." ..I was so wise! I should take my own advice. I need that kind of patience and feeling that everything will work out in the time of the Lord! :P
This was also in the early Spring, which was when SOFTBALL STARTED! Well I was working a somewhat funky schedule (7:30-5:00, Mon-Thurs), so I went to practice for just a little bit each day, but it was worth it. Anywho, a fellow coach mentioned WGU for schooling--all online, basically. And I really liked the idea! So I looked into it, and I was going to change to Math Education, but something kept holding me back. Whether it was work, softball, or indecisiveness I'm not sure, but I did nothing with it. I just continued to research it.
Well, General Conference weekend/Spring Break in April lead me to taking a trip to Utah and Rexburg...
Driving to Seattle to go to the airport! Mom joined me for the day to go eat delicious sushi!
Probably the most beautiful shot I had ever seen on a plane...
I first spent several days with Kelsey, Keatn, and their dogs in Rexburg!
Then it was off to Salt Lake City!! I was able to see a ton of companions and even get to see and hug my amazing mission president and wife, who came all the way from Buenos Aires!
Like the pictures show, I mostly went to visit some friends. But I also wanted to make a trip to the temple there...And oddly, as I walked around campus and reacquainted myself with everything, I wasn't feeling so excited or great about the idea of returning to Rexburg. I LOVE the school, but I don't know. When I went to the temple, I got to reading a little bit. Take a read through Doctrine & Covenants 111 with the question, "Where should I go?" Especially after verse 3 haha. "Therefore, it is expedient that you should form acquaintance with men in this city, as you should be led, and as it shall be given you." Haha I just about died laughing in the temple. Well I felt I needed to stay in Quincy for a while is what I got to thinking...So I started looking into online schooling and making hints to my boss that I was thinking about sticking around for a while longer, like at least another year...
I decided that the best way to "form acquaintance with men" was by going to the Young Single Adult ward, despite the fact that I wasn't a huge fan of the idea haha. But BOY does the Lord know how to lead and guide! On probably the second or third week of attending the YSA ward, a tall, dark, and handsome Mexican had flown to Washington to visit his mission!
September to December!
Okay, this is going to be like PURE photos!! These are quick updates of our adventures from September 2014 to December 2014. And thennn I already have two other posts ready for this year's adventures. ;)
OCTOBER! We celebrated Madre's 53rd birthday!! It was quite an adventure stealing her from work. ;) I also took the motorcycle class, so I learned to ride a motorcycle! I also got stuck on the side of the freeway, so Padre and Uncle Todd had to come and save me. :D Haha.
November!!! I was FINALLY able to see Dene', Trista, and their families!! I can't believe I've been on so many planes since I've been home haha. But I flew from Seattle to Chicago, Chicago to Iowa, where I stayed for a good week or so...
We even got to pick out a tree and put it up!! :D
Annnd the cheapest flight to Albuquerque was on Thanksgiving Day, so this was my Thanksgiving dinner! :D
But no worries, but I thoroughly enjoyed another week and a half with another sister and brother in-law and niece and nephew. :D
They're so cute. :)
I even got to visit my fellow Argentines!! :D The Cornu-Labats! Ah, how wonderful it was to drink mate with them and speak to them in vos! :D
After coming home, I continued to work as a para pro at several different schools, so this kid just kind of summed up how much fun it was haha. And I also got to visit a past FHE brother from BYU-Idaho since we had both just come home from our missions!
OCTOBER! We celebrated Madre's 53rd birthday!! It was quite an adventure stealing her from work. ;) I also took the motorcycle class, so I learned to ride a motorcycle! I also got stuck on the side of the freeway, so Padre and Uncle Todd had to come and save me. :D Haha.
November!!! I was FINALLY able to see Dene', Trista, and their families!! I can't believe I've been on so many planes since I've been home haha. But I flew from Seattle to Chicago, Chicago to Iowa, where I stayed for a good week or so...
We even got to pick out a tree and put it up!! :D
Annnd the cheapest flight to Albuquerque was on Thanksgiving Day, so this was my Thanksgiving dinner! :D
But no worries, but I thoroughly enjoyed another week and a half with another sister and brother in-law and niece and nephew. :D
They're so cute. :)
I even got to visit my fellow Argentines!! :D The Cornu-Labats! Ah, how wonderful it was to drink mate with them and speak to them in vos! :D
After coming home, I continued to work as a para pro at several different schools, so this kid just kind of summed up how much fun it was haha. And I also got to visit a past FHE brother from BYU-Idaho since we had both just come home from our missions!
Stay updated for the wonderful adventures of 2015!!
Friday, October 2, 2015
300: Tolerance. Acceptance. Love.
These three words would be considered synonyms, but they still have completely different meanings--especially when you include them all in a discussion about the legalization of gay marriage. In my Marriage 300 class this week, we kept our focus on the debate about gay marriage. I have to admit that I was a little worried about this topic! Most know by now that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has made an official stand on this subject, despite not usually getting involved in politics. Although we do not endorse nor support the legalization of gay marriage, we are exhorted to love all and not judge. For everyone is passing through their own storm. This topic got me even more worried, though, because I know that even though the Church leaders have taken a stand on this, the members are still allowed to have their own opinions and make their own choices, of course. I know there are members that support gay marriage, and so I was curious as to how this would pan out in our class discussions this week. Thank heavens everything worked out just fine; we were all able to keep ourselves composed and respect one another's opinions. The discussions and reading material actually opened my eyes a TON.
I will admit that I feel extremely informed about why it is that many people support gay marriage; they have their own very valid reasons. Many people whom I admire support gay marriage, and I've had many opportunities to listen and understand their point of view. It. Makes. Sense. But regardless, I was never (and will never) be able to deny what I know to be true and right. Unfortunately, before this week, I was never very informed as to HOW I could defend my side of the debate. I don't ever look to get into an argument; firstly because it's childish and unneeded. We don't need to handle disagreements by continuing to argue about it. Secondly, because I know I would lose! I get all tongue-tied in debates :) Nevertheless, I want to not only be able to declare what I believe, but also why I believe what I do!
I won't go into really juicy complicated details, but I do want to share one, big thing. The family is the basic and central unit to life and the Gospel. Legalization of gay marriage is not simply expanding what marriage means. It is a complete redefinition of the word. In the Federal Marriage Amendment, marriage is described as the union between a man and a woman. Now think about it: WHY has marriage been considered only between a man and a woman for so long? First off, if you're religious, because that is how God first instilled marriage, beginning with Adam and Eve. Second, because what is the purpose of marriage? Yes, to unite a man and woman to be able to multiply and replenish the earth. Yes, everyone, that commandment, along with marriage, is STILL in full force today. Unfortunately, if we endorse gay marriage, how are we to expect this couple to fulfill both commandments and receive all the blessings? They biologically are unable to reproduce. Fact is fact. And if we change this definition of marriage, saying that anyone who loves each other is legal to marry...To what extent does this go? Who is to say that in ten years we won't want to change it again allowing more than just two people in the union (polygamy), or even incest. It may seem like a strange and foreign idea to you now, but is that not how the idea of gays or lesbians began 10+ years ago, as well?
You may ask me, "But why do you even care? It's not like it affects you. Just let people be people, and let them marry and love whomever they want." And, you know what? For a long time, I thought the exact same, "But why is it such a big deal? I'm still allowed to marry my handsome man, how does it affect me?" Well let's take our morals and values about marriage back 50 years ago. Baby boomers! Not only were people having children, but in the early 1900's, marriage was well sought after. Most men and women married young and had bigger families. Then we slowly started to introduce new factors. Education pursuits and establishing a solid career became extremely important, so men and women began to wait longer to marry and have children. Then children almost became a burden and, yes, are expensive, so families became smaller. Then our morals began dropping drastically. Premarital sex became far more popular, which leads to child-bearing out of wedlock, which can also lead to abortion at times. Then cohabitation became normal; many studies have found that a couple will cohabitate mainly to satisfy their own needs, but very few actually plan on having children. Although our population is still rising, it is slowing down. Due to smaller families, abortions, marrying later on in life, or not having any children, period, the world's population is expected to begin to decrease within the next 50 years if we don't turn something around. We will face depopulation. Gay marriage goes right along with "not having any children". Yes, they can adopt, but they themselves cannot reproduce and have children.
And not only that, but it has been shown in various studies that a child has great advantages by being raised by a mother and a father together. In fact, having both examples and influences on them is crucial and vital to their growth and development. This is my belief and what I know to be right according to my knowledge and understanding. And if a gay couple intends to infringe on my religious beliefs and rights to refuse to make their cake (or whatever else the case our there might be), the table has been completely turned. It is no longer me being intolerant (because I DO tolerate it, even if I choose to not condone it; I will not mistreat a gay couple) of your sexual orientation; it is that couple being intolerant of my religious beliefs. We are free to live however we may choose to, but our government should not be used to punish those who choose differently.
Tolerance.
Acceptance.
Love.
I will be tolerant! But I should not be forced to accept a certain opinion or belief. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination.”
I will not abandon my belief; I will stand strong. Nor will I push it down another's throat if they disagree. But I WILL follow the greatest commandment given from God to man: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart...And...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." (Matthew 22:37-39) I WILL love you and do my best to show you that pure love.
"Love the sinner; hate the sin."
I encourage all to study out the doctrine and facts and not simply go with the flow of the crowd or media. Decide for yourself, and stand by it, whatever it may be.
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." ~John F. Kennedy
I will admit that I feel extremely informed about why it is that many people support gay marriage; they have their own very valid reasons. Many people whom I admire support gay marriage, and I've had many opportunities to listen and understand their point of view. It. Makes. Sense. But regardless, I was never (and will never) be able to deny what I know to be true and right. Unfortunately, before this week, I was never very informed as to HOW I could defend my side of the debate. I don't ever look to get into an argument; firstly because it's childish and unneeded. We don't need to handle disagreements by continuing to argue about it. Secondly, because I know I would lose! I get all tongue-tied in debates :) Nevertheless, I want to not only be able to declare what I believe, but also why I believe what I do!
I won't go into really juicy complicated details, but I do want to share one, big thing. The family is the basic and central unit to life and the Gospel. Legalization of gay marriage is not simply expanding what marriage means. It is a complete redefinition of the word. In the Federal Marriage Amendment, marriage is described as the union between a man and a woman. Now think about it: WHY has marriage been considered only between a man and a woman for so long? First off, if you're religious, because that is how God first instilled marriage, beginning with Adam and Eve. Second, because what is the purpose of marriage? Yes, to unite a man and woman to be able to multiply and replenish the earth. Yes, everyone, that commandment, along with marriage, is STILL in full force today. Unfortunately, if we endorse gay marriage, how are we to expect this couple to fulfill both commandments and receive all the blessings? They biologically are unable to reproduce. Fact is fact. And if we change this definition of marriage, saying that anyone who loves each other is legal to marry...To what extent does this go? Who is to say that in ten years we won't want to change it again allowing more than just two people in the union (polygamy), or even incest. It may seem like a strange and foreign idea to you now, but is that not how the idea of gays or lesbians began 10+ years ago, as well?
You may ask me, "But why do you even care? It's not like it affects you. Just let people be people, and let them marry and love whomever they want." And, you know what? For a long time, I thought the exact same, "But why is it such a big deal? I'm still allowed to marry my handsome man, how does it affect me?" Well let's take our morals and values about marriage back 50 years ago. Baby boomers! Not only were people having children, but in the early 1900's, marriage was well sought after. Most men and women married young and had bigger families. Then we slowly started to introduce new factors. Education pursuits and establishing a solid career became extremely important, so men and women began to wait longer to marry and have children. Then children almost became a burden and, yes, are expensive, so families became smaller. Then our morals began dropping drastically. Premarital sex became far more popular, which leads to child-bearing out of wedlock, which can also lead to abortion at times. Then cohabitation became normal; many studies have found that a couple will cohabitate mainly to satisfy their own needs, but very few actually plan on having children. Although our population is still rising, it is slowing down. Due to smaller families, abortions, marrying later on in life, or not having any children, period, the world's population is expected to begin to decrease within the next 50 years if we don't turn something around. We will face depopulation. Gay marriage goes right along with "not having any children". Yes, they can adopt, but they themselves cannot reproduce and have children.
And not only that, but it has been shown in various studies that a child has great advantages by being raised by a mother and a father together. In fact, having both examples and influences on them is crucial and vital to their growth and development. This is my belief and what I know to be right according to my knowledge and understanding. And if a gay couple intends to infringe on my religious beliefs and rights to refuse to make their cake (or whatever else the case our there might be), the table has been completely turned. It is no longer me being intolerant (because I DO tolerate it, even if I choose to not condone it; I will not mistreat a gay couple) of your sexual orientation; it is that couple being intolerant of my religious beliefs. We are free to live however we may choose to, but our government should not be used to punish those who choose differently.
Tolerance.
Acceptance.
Love.
I will be tolerant! But I should not be forced to accept a certain opinion or belief. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination.”
I will not abandon my belief; I will stand strong. Nor will I push it down another's throat if they disagree. But I WILL follow the greatest commandment given from God to man: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart...And...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." (Matthew 22:37-39) I WILL love you and do my best to show you that pure love.
"Love the sinner; hate the sin."
I encourage all to study out the doctrine and facts and not simply go with the flow of the crowd or media. Decide for yourself, and stand by it, whatever it may be.
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." ~John F. Kennedy
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