This month I am taking a huge…Risk? I’m not positive if “risk” is the right word for it, but I will say that I am taking one big bite of life to chew on right now. I have a couple of other rough drafts that I need to get posted (preferably within the next five days haha) to update you all on how I’ve done and what I have been up to. But to really quickly explain this “big bite of life”: I am engaged! To my most favorite Mexican ever, Adonai ;) And we are in the middle of doing all sorts of paperwork and junk to get his fiancé visa so that we can get married. I’m also working full-time at the high school, AND starting this month I have also started school through BYU-Idaho again. Except this will be the first time since I’ve been home from my mission to go to school full-time again! ALL online. And I was lucky enough to be hired on as a junior high volleyball coach! So life is pretty busy, but you should be hearing lots more updates on my blog now. J
Why? For one of my Marriage and Family Studies classes, I am to write an online blog post about principles and topics that we have learned each week! So yes, many of these will be about church topics, trials or challenges with marriage and family, and even viewpoints from the world around us about marriage and family. On here I am simply sharing my thoughts, insights, and principles that I am learning. If you disagree or have a different idea or even an answer to a question I have, please feel free to comment and explain/answer! I would love it.
So, for this week, we have talked a lot about trends and patterns in marriages, families, and how the world and Church views both. Throughout all of the readings that we were assigned this week, there was one, huge theme that stood out to me. We read a couple of talks by Elder Oaks and Elder Faust, but neither mentioned this theme I’m going to write about, in their talks; but it was mostly found in two of the other readings. The pinch of bluntness that is in me which I've accrued over time is screaming "Hypocrites!", while my much more dominating soft side reminds me, "You were raised differently. Some simply may not understand."
Let me start this all off with a story…I remember when I was younger, I was having a conversation with another student at from school. We were discussing marriage and cohabitation (living together before marriage), and they mentioned that they planned to live with their significant other for at least one year before getting married. I was a little surprised, so out of curiosity, I asked them why. This was the first time I heard the reasoning, "I want to get a feel for what it will be like being married to them before I make that kind of commitment. I need to make sure I can live with that person first! If I can't live with that person for one year, how can I expect to live with them for many more years? For a lifetime?"
In absolute honesty, I did not know how to respond. Why? Because I had always been taught that cohabitation was NOT okay. Under any circumstance, it is not okay...Yet I didn't know how to respond to my classmate, because their reasoning legitimately made sense to me. That student and their reasoning for cohabitation made perfect sense. It's like a science experiment, right? Question: Should I marry this person? Hypothesis: This relationship is a good one. I am happy, and I believe I can be happy with this other person. I would then proceed to test my hypothesis through an experiment (living with them for a year), and then draw a conclusion. If the conclusion is good, DEAL! We get married. If it is bad, re-test! With a new variable, of course. That being a different person. It seems as though it would work. SHOULD work...But let me tell you, although science has answered many of our questions and absolutely amazes me, unfortunately, science does not always have the answers. Not yet, at least. Science is always progressing and changing and making new hypotheses as it finds more answers and new information. And for this reason, I don't rely wholly on science. I rely on the One who knows it all, without fail.
God does not change. And the Law of Chastity (meaning the law that God has given to His children concerning their reproductive powers to create families and marriage—for more information see "The Family: A Proclamation to the World") certainly will not change. For this purpose, I have been taught all my life that living together with a significant other before marriage is not okay. Even though I did not fully know how to respond to the other student's views at the time, I have now come to learn why AND have been able to see scientific evidence as to why their "hypothesis" or reasoning is skewed.
While reading through several of our assigned material, I was continuously amazed at how many people said that a happy marriage and family life is "extremely important" to them, yet so few were willing to take the appropriate steps to have a stable marriage and family life. Many have seen divorce rates climb higher and higher and are fearful to marry. Many don’t even want to have children. And for those who do but prefer cohabitatation instead of marriage, they want to provide stability for their children, but by having their children out of wedlock, they are failing to provide that stability! Couples who cohabitate are more likely to split up, because no, they don’t have that vital commitment of legal marriage tying them together. So if they do have children while living together, it’s possible that their children grow up in a single-parent home. And I believe very few would disagree that a mother or father attempting to raise a children (or multiple children) is a grand struggle in and of itself.
So the majority of people said that a happy marriage and family life is extremely important to them, but then after reading some more, very few believe that legal marriage will lead to a fuller and happier life. There is where it finally dawned on me. These people who say that marriage and family stability is so important truly do believe that, and they WANT that in their future. Unfortunately, it’s possible that they simply lack the knowledge of how to make that come true. They haven’t seen the statistics of marriage versus cohabitation, especially while raising children. They don't realize that by cohabitating, they are more likely to split up, because there IS NO commitment. There is no reason for them to stay together if things get rough. It is so easy to walk away, and unfortunately, like I mentioned, that often happens. I do realize that there are strong couples that are faithful to each other while cohabitating, but even then it makes you wonder, “If you plan to stay faithful to one another and plan to stay together for the rest of your lives…Why not marry?”
While conversing with my classmate, I may not have understood the "why" all those years ago, but I did know (and I DO know to this day) that marriage is sacred. I am not married (yet!), but it is something to special that I have chosen to only share this commitment and experience with one person. It is not easy, but I will do my part as best I can to make it work. I will stay faithful and true to my husband and to God. There are so many benefits to legal marriage, not only physically and economically, but also spiritually. God gives no law that is only temporal or only spiritual. They will always go hand in hand.
Why? For one of my Marriage and Family Studies classes, I am to write an online blog post about principles and topics that we have learned each week! So yes, many of these will be about church topics, trials or challenges with marriage and family, and even viewpoints from the world around us about marriage and family. On here I am simply sharing my thoughts, insights, and principles that I am learning. If you disagree or have a different idea or even an answer to a question I have, please feel free to comment and explain/answer! I would love it.
So, for this week, we have talked a lot about trends and patterns in marriages, families, and how the world and Church views both. Throughout all of the readings that we were assigned this week, there was one, huge theme that stood out to me. We read a couple of talks by Elder Oaks and Elder Faust, but neither mentioned this theme I’m going to write about, in their talks; but it was mostly found in two of the other readings. The pinch of bluntness that is in me which I've accrued over time is screaming "Hypocrites!", while my much more dominating soft side reminds me, "You were raised differently. Some simply may not understand."
Let me start this all off with a story…I remember when I was younger, I was having a conversation with another student at from school. We were discussing marriage and cohabitation (living together before marriage), and they mentioned that they planned to live with their significant other for at least one year before getting married. I was a little surprised, so out of curiosity, I asked them why. This was the first time I heard the reasoning, "I want to get a feel for what it will be like being married to them before I make that kind of commitment. I need to make sure I can live with that person first! If I can't live with that person for one year, how can I expect to live with them for many more years? For a lifetime?"
In absolute honesty, I did not know how to respond. Why? Because I had always been taught that cohabitation was NOT okay. Under any circumstance, it is not okay...Yet I didn't know how to respond to my classmate, because their reasoning legitimately made sense to me. That student and their reasoning for cohabitation made perfect sense. It's like a science experiment, right? Question: Should I marry this person? Hypothesis: This relationship is a good one. I am happy, and I believe I can be happy with this other person. I would then proceed to test my hypothesis through an experiment (living with them for a year), and then draw a conclusion. If the conclusion is good, DEAL! We get married. If it is bad, re-test! With a new variable, of course. That being a different person. It seems as though it would work. SHOULD work...But let me tell you, although science has answered many of our questions and absolutely amazes me, unfortunately, science does not always have the answers. Not yet, at least. Science is always progressing and changing and making new hypotheses as it finds more answers and new information. And for this reason, I don't rely wholly on science. I rely on the One who knows it all, without fail.
God does not change. And the Law of Chastity (meaning the law that God has given to His children concerning their reproductive powers to create families and marriage—for more information see "The Family: A Proclamation to the World") certainly will not change. For this purpose, I have been taught all my life that living together with a significant other before marriage is not okay. Even though I did not fully know how to respond to the other student's views at the time, I have now come to learn why AND have been able to see scientific evidence as to why their "hypothesis" or reasoning is skewed.
While reading through several of our assigned material, I was continuously amazed at how many people said that a happy marriage and family life is "extremely important" to them, yet so few were willing to take the appropriate steps to have a stable marriage and family life. Many have seen divorce rates climb higher and higher and are fearful to marry. Many don’t even want to have children. And for those who do but prefer cohabitatation instead of marriage, they want to provide stability for their children, but by having their children out of wedlock, they are failing to provide that stability! Couples who cohabitate are more likely to split up, because no, they don’t have that vital commitment of legal marriage tying them together. So if they do have children while living together, it’s possible that their children grow up in a single-parent home. And I believe very few would disagree that a mother or father attempting to raise a children (or multiple children) is a grand struggle in and of itself.
So the majority of people said that a happy marriage and family life is extremely important to them, but then after reading some more, very few believe that legal marriage will lead to a fuller and happier life. There is where it finally dawned on me. These people who say that marriage and family stability is so important truly do believe that, and they WANT that in their future. Unfortunately, it’s possible that they simply lack the knowledge of how to make that come true. They haven’t seen the statistics of marriage versus cohabitation, especially while raising children. They don't realize that by cohabitating, they are more likely to split up, because there IS NO commitment. There is no reason for them to stay together if things get rough. It is so easy to walk away, and unfortunately, like I mentioned, that often happens. I do realize that there are strong couples that are faithful to each other while cohabitating, but even then it makes you wonder, “If you plan to stay faithful to one another and plan to stay together for the rest of your lives…Why not marry?”
While conversing with my classmate, I may not have understood the "why" all those years ago, but I did know (and I DO know to this day) that marriage is sacred. I am not married (yet!), but it is something to special that I have chosen to only share this commitment and experience with one person. It is not easy, but I will do my part as best I can to make it work. I will stay faithful and true to my husband and to God. There are so many benefits to legal marriage, not only physically and economically, but also spiritually. God gives no law that is only temporal or only spiritual. They will always go hand in hand.
