300: "Love is not a happy accident; it is a choice."

I can't count how many times I have said to someone, with complete assurance that it is 100% true, that happiness is a choice. Happiness is my choice; it is my passion. I love being happy, even though I sometimes struggle with unhappiness. I'm not perfect--especially when I'm stressed out, working full-time, studying full-time, trying to get visa paperwork done, and attempting to plan a decent wedding. Let's just say that sometimes stress overtakes the blissful happiness. BUT...That "blissfulness" will alllll return after January 9th, right?!

Right!...For a while haha. Obviously I'm not married (yet), so I don't fully understand that whole newly-wed bliss concept and how it slowly (or quickly?) dims. However, yes, I have heard of it, and it does make sense. Now this is where one of my favorite overly-discussed church topics comes in...

Charity

Yup. That's right. Christlike love. I truly think I love this topic so much because charity and many hours I spent on my knees on cold, cement floors literally saved my sanity and life. This is why I have such an appreciation for prayer and charity...Missions. Dang. They are hard. Amazing and full of the best miracles and moments of my life, but they push you to your limits. If you are willing to submit yourself humbly to the will of the Lord and CHANGE for the better, you will come home a different person. You will learn amazing blessings, and charity (and striving to have charity) was one of the best-learned lessons on my mission.

There is always "that companion" who was given to you to teach you patience and love. I had almost no problems with the majority of my companions, but I cannot express to you the mental and emotional and physical pain I went through trying to understand this companion of mine and learn to love her. I cannot count how many hours I spent on those cement floors, in tears, begging to know what to do, how to love her, and how to not hurt. I spent 5.5 out of those 6 weeks suffering and feeling mentally uneasy. It would be useless to try and tell you how many hours I spent begging for charity to truly love her, learn from her, and be able to end that transfer on a positive note...

I love that companion; I can honestly and truthfully say that I love her, and I will give her the biggest hug the day I get to see her again. I may not agree with her on some things, but I learned so much from her, and the greatest thing she ever taught me was charity. I learned from her that I can learn to love anyone. Everyone. It may not be easy, but I know I can.

So how on earth does this relate to marriage?

Again, I am still unmarried, but I know that every single couple will come to a point and ask themselves, "Did I really make the right choice? Was I supposed to marry him/her?" And in some unfortunate circumstance, maybe things just were not supposed to work out. But I know that as long as both spouses try to see the big picture and strive to have charity, even the long-lost love can be found. Even those feelings which have been buried and hidden under so much garbage, anger, fights, and frustrations--even those can be restored. It may require some time to just sit quietly and silently beg for help to love your spouse, but it will come. It might be 5.5 weeks later than you would have liked it to be, but it will come.

"Love is not a happy accident; it is a choice."

-H. Wallace Goddard