Okay, so we've finished all of our really great books for the semester, but we did have the chance to read a few talks! I would like to focus more on Eyring's talk "That We May Be One" and what really hit me while reading through it and listening to it. There were so many things that I loved, and it made me ponder on the question: How do we become one in marriage?
It is a little unfortunate to think about the number of broken marriages there are in our world. But the main thing that caught my attention was when President Eyring said, "If we are to have unity, there are commandments we must keep concerning how we feel." Feel. That is what caught my attention. Unity is a feeling, thus the strength of unity within our marriages depends fully upon how we feel about our spouse. I don't want to say this is something I struggle with, because I think the world of Adonai; however I will be the first to admit that I do struggle to stay positive and strong while waiting on the whole visa process. What has helped me, however, is that each night I try to write something I'm grateful for about Adonai. It keeps me positive and hopeful, and it helps create that feeling of gratitude, unity, and "we're on the same team"-ness :)
Anyway,,,Eyring said that "we must forgive and bear no malice..." Again, the first thing that can create a negative feeling is contempt, holding things against your spouse. So, first and foremost, we must forgive our spouses of any wrongdoings and bear no malice toward them. We fully realize that they are not perfect, and neither are we! For goodness sake, that's part of the reason why we get married--to grow together and learn to perfect each other. We cannot reach the highest level of perfected exaltation without our companion at our side. So yes, our spouses make a lot of mistakes, but so do we. Forgiveness and charity will allow us to view our spouses as Heavenly Father sees them, treat them as such, and have that unity.
Now, when there is something amiss, I loved Eyring's wise advice: "An inspired, loving rebuke can be an invitation to unity." It will likely be very humbling, but that's okay. Humility (a broken heart and a contrite spirit) is what brings about changes in our nature. Throughout our marriages, we will notice things that, as a couple or individually, we can all work on. If it is something you really want to work at, talk about it with your spouse! But make sure it is "inspired [and] loving." It will become a goal for the both of you, and it will draw you nearer to each other.
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