These three words would be considered synonyms, but they still have completely different meanings--especially when you include them all in a discussion about the legalization of gay marriage. In my Marriage 300 class this week, we kept our focus on the debate about gay marriage. I have to admit that I was a little worried about this topic! Most know by now that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has made an official stand on this subject, despite not usually getting involved in politics. Although we do not endorse nor support the legalization of gay marriage, we are exhorted to love all and not judge. For everyone is passing through their own storm. This topic got me even more worried, though, because I know that even though the Church leaders have taken a stand on this, the members are still allowed to have their own opinions and make their own choices, of course. I know there are members that support gay marriage, and so I was curious as to how this would pan out in our class discussions this week. Thank heavens everything worked out just fine; we were all able to keep ourselves composed and respect one another's opinions. The discussions and reading material actually opened my eyes a TON.
I will admit that I feel extremely informed about why it is that many people support gay marriage; they have their own very valid reasons. Many people whom I admire support gay marriage, and I've had many opportunities to listen and understand their point of view. It. Makes. Sense. But regardless, I was never (and will never) be able to deny what I know to be true and right. Unfortunately, before this week, I was never very informed as to HOW I could defend my side of the debate. I don't ever look to get into an argument; firstly because it's childish and unneeded. We don't need to handle disagreements by continuing to argue about it. Secondly, because I know I would lose! I get all tongue-tied in debates :) Nevertheless, I want to not only be able to declare what I believe, but also why I believe what I do!
I won't go into really juicy complicated details, but I do want to share one, big thing. The family is the basic and central unit to life and the Gospel. Legalization of gay marriage is not simply expanding what marriage means. It is a complete redefinition of the word. In the Federal Marriage Amendment, marriage is described as the union between a man and a woman. Now think about it: WHY has marriage been considered only between a man and a woman for so long? First off, if you're religious, because that is how God first instilled marriage, beginning with Adam and Eve. Second, because what is the purpose of marriage? Yes, to unite a man and woman to be able to multiply and replenish the earth. Yes, everyone, that commandment, along with marriage, is STILL in full force today. Unfortunately, if we endorse gay marriage, how are we to expect this couple to fulfill both commandments and receive all the blessings? They biologically are unable to reproduce. Fact is fact. And if we change this definition of marriage, saying that anyone who loves each other is legal to marry...To what extent does this go? Who is to say that in ten years we won't want to change it again allowing more than just two people in the union (polygamy), or even incest. It may seem like a strange and foreign idea to you now, but is that not how the idea of gays or lesbians began 10+ years ago, as well?
You may ask me, "But why do you even care? It's not like it affects you. Just let people be people, and let them marry and love whomever they want." And, you know what? For a long time, I thought the exact same, "But why is it such a big deal? I'm still allowed to marry my handsome man, how does it affect me?" Well let's take our morals and values about marriage back 50 years ago. Baby boomers! Not only were people having children, but in the early 1900's, marriage was well sought after. Most men and women married young and had bigger families. Then we slowly started to introduce new factors. Education pursuits and establishing a solid career became extremely important, so men and women began to wait longer to marry and have children. Then children almost became a burden and, yes, are expensive, so families became smaller. Then our morals began dropping drastically. Premarital sex became far more popular, which leads to child-bearing out of wedlock, which can also lead to abortion at times. Then cohabitation became normal; many studies have found that a couple will cohabitate mainly to satisfy their own needs, but very few actually plan on having children. Although our population is still rising, it is slowing down. Due to smaller families, abortions, marrying later on in life, or not having any children, period, the world's population is expected to begin to decrease within the next 50 years if we don't turn something around. We will face depopulation. Gay marriage goes right along with "not having any children". Yes, they can adopt, but they themselves cannot reproduce and have children.
And not only that, but it has been shown in various studies that a child has great advantages by being raised by a mother and a father together. In fact, having both examples and influences on them is crucial and vital to their growth and development. This is my belief and what I know to be right according to my knowledge and understanding. And if a gay couple intends to infringe on my religious beliefs and rights to refuse to make their cake (or whatever else the case our there might be), the table has been completely turned. It is no longer me being intolerant (because I DO tolerate it, even if I choose to not condone it; I will not mistreat a gay couple) of your sexual orientation; it is that couple being intolerant of my religious beliefs. We are free to live however we may choose to, but our government should not be used to punish those who choose differently.
Tolerance.
Acceptance.
Love.
I will be tolerant! But I should not be forced to accept a certain opinion or belief. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, “Tolerance does not require abandoning one’s standards or one’s opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination.”
I will not abandon my belief; I will stand strong. Nor will I push it down another's throat if they disagree. But I WILL follow the greatest commandment given from God to man: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart...And...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." (Matthew 22:37-39) I WILL love you and do my best to show you that pure love.
"Love the sinner; hate the sin."
I encourage all to study out the doctrine and facts and not simply go with the flow of the crowd or media. Decide for yourself, and stand by it, whatever it may be.
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." ~John F. Kennedy
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